The joy of queer family playdates
Plus: Drag King story time, straight best friends and Harry Styles' pyjamas
Hello! How’s your week been? I’ve been in full Mariah mode since my picture book launch last weekend. Yep, I now have a rider, a driver, someone who fans me and someone else who spritzes Diptyque Baies before I enter every room. Oh allow me my 15 minutes in the spotlight!
Seriously though, it’s been so amazing sharing the book with other families. At the launch party the fabulous drag king and queen duo Adam and Apple read the story and performed some songs. It was the first time I’d ever been in a room, that when children were asked who was in their family, more said “A Mummy and a Mama” or a “Daddy and a Dad” than “a Mum and Dad”. When she wasn’t trying to sit on her friend A’s head or wrestle him to the ground for a hug (a subject for another newsletter), my daughter looked delighted to be there and maybe even a little bit proud of her old Mama.
It made me realise how powerful it felt to be around such a diverse mix of families. I’d love to do more meet ups and events, and it would be fun if you and your family joined us. For a chance to get together with other LGBTQ families, and to hang out with moi and moi’s entourage, please consider signing up to be a paid subscriber.
For now though - we need your help. As part of our book research we are collating some of the worst ‘well intentioned’ things people have said to you about your family. Here’s a starter for ten
Who’s the real Dad? / Mum?
Where did you ‘get’ your baby?
Such a shame the Mum couldn’t look after them
What, so you can just ‘buy’ a baby Daddy now?
Please add yours by clicking ‘leave comment’.
SHOW & TELL
WATCH: A new C4 show celebrates the straight best friend. Jack Rooke’s sitcom Big Boys pays homage to his hetero sidekick and this piece he wrote for the Guardian recalls his first Pride with his SBF: ‘A rather enthusiastic chap crawled past Pizza Express on a long chain leash and I found myself drenched in shock, while Eddy calmly took it in his stride. “It’s just a fella in a puppy mask pretending to be a dog, what a bloody Saturday!” he declared, swigging a Red Stripe and joyfully filling up a Terence Higgins Trust tote with LGBTQ+ support paraphernalia.’
READ: Concerning My Daughter is a best-selling Korean novella by Kim Hye-jin, recently translated into English by Jamie Chang. It’s narrated from the perspective of a 60-year-old woman whose daughter is gay - something she struggles to come to terms with. When the daughter moves back in with her mother, she brings her girlfriend Lane with her. “Gay? The word rushes into my head and shoots through without permission. Words come to me so violently, without warning, before Lane can say another word, I quickly manage to correct her. My daughter is not that kind of person.”
GO: Queercircle - an LGBTQ+ led charity working at the intersection of arts, culture and social action has a permanent home. The community arts space (above) opens in The North Greenwich Design District in London next week. Expect exhibitions, talks and campaigns. We’ve been in touch with the organisers and apparently LGBTQ+ family events are on the cards too so watch this space.
NEWS FLASH!
The stats don’t lie: One in ten young women in the UK identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or ‘other’
Kourtney Kardashian has opened up about IVF and the unusual things she has been doing to support her fertility treatment… and we really wish she hadn’t
Harry Styles reads a bedtime story on Cbeebies and a) we covet his PJs and b) can he be our manny?
Thank you for reading :-) If you like From Gay To Ze please consider supporting us as we write a guide to LGBTQ parenting and grow this editorial platform by becoming a paid subscriber. It costs just £50 to subscribe for a year
I’ve thought of another well meaning yet awful comment: “are you worried she’ll be bullied at school?”
So many people asked ‘ who’s the dad’ when we announced our pregnancy, even the midwife at our first appointment who asked for his number and everything. They were so unprepared for a same sex couple, even though this was at Kings college in London. We were also unprepared in how to respond, which lead to us having a really important conversation about the difference between ‘dad’ and ‘donor’ and how important it was to us and how unimportant it seemed to be for other people!