Feeling COZY and COMFORTABLE on holiday from parenting!

(This week's newsletter is sponsored by Beyoncé)

This morning I woke up with mascara smudged around my eyes after drinking a lot of champagne at a friend's party, then eating a giant Dominos and getting home at 2am. But instead of the usual 6am alarm which goes something like “I NEED MY BREAKFAST NOW! WAKE UP MAMA YOU’RE BEING BORING, I NEED TO GO DOWNSTAIRS! OPEN. YOUR. EYES” I was greeted this morning with silence; joyful, endless silence. You see my wife has gone to stay with her parents in France and she’s taken the kid so I can have nine days of blissful ‘Me Time’ - and finish writing the book - before going out to meet them.

And let me tell you I am feeling COZY.  Beyoncé’s Renaissance could not have come out at a better moment for moi personally. It is the soundtrack to my freedom from parenting and when I’m not RELEASING MY WIGGLE, I am COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN and am just basking in this incredible paean to queer black culture. Beyonce is the zeitgeist. She is the culture and I am obsessed with this album.

I’ve been playing it on repeat at home without anyone to tell me to turn it down or “put Ed Shearwig songs on” (I love that E has somehow conflated Ed Sheeran with an earwig and I am never going to correct her). 

What would you do if someone gifted you a nine day vacation from parenting?

I’ve tried to make social plans for most days so I don’t just sit on my sofa staring at Instagram reels of cronuts for hours. I should probably go to art galleries, the theatre, catch a movie but what I’m really enjoying is the tiiiiiiime. Hours unfold, slowly. Please don’t hate me. Having space to think and not constantly service the requirements of a 4-year-old is so freeing. I’ve even had an idea for my next novel!

I’ve been reading, which is something I never get a chance to do; going to the gym - likewise;  and sorting out piles of unopened letters from EDF Energy (eurgh), tidying my desk and writing all sorts of lists. There’s no mess to clear up at the end of the day. There’s not tons of washing to do. I don’t need to cook someone three different dinners before accepting all they want is a banana and a rice cake. Bliss!

I do miss them, and seeing my daughter’s little face on my phone does make my heart ache. BUT this is an opportunity not to be squandered. Category is: Freedom!

SUBSCRIBE TO READ ABOUT THE DRAG QUEEN STORY TIME PROTESTS IN THE UK LAST WEEK…