Boundaries!
Playdate pitfalls, Plus: LGBTQ parenting news from around the world and a half-term event for queer families and their friends
Happy last week before the ‘holidays’ for those of you with school-age kids! My daughter E started at her local Primary in September and this first half of the term has, bar a few inevitable infectious illness and friendship shenanigans, gone very well. I’ve become a veritable school gate Suze. I’m an active participant in the Reception Parents WhatsApp (thankfully I haven’t needed to do what Stu had to do recently and remind people not to just refer to ‘Mums’ in correspondence. ‘And Dads!!’ Stu wrote in response to one woman’s careless call-out on his equivalent school What’sApp. He added a winky face emoji which I assured him made the missive firm but still fun).
Having to walk 30 tiny children in high-vis vests along the Woolwich Road at rush hour, as they alternately ask if we’re nearly there or can open their packed lunch evokes a unique kind of panic in me
I’ve also offered my services as a school trip volunteer (having to walk 30 tiny children in high vis vests along the Woolwich Road at rush hour, as they alternately ask if we’re nearly there or can open their packed lunch evokes a unique kind of panic in me), and I have both hosted and attended playdates with three new people - only one ended with my daughter stripping naked and trying to hug her new friend as she was leaving and me shouting ‘BOUNDARIES’, so that feels like a win.
I’ve loved watching E grow in confidence. At the school gate on Friday she very patiently explained to a girl in her class that she had two Mummies actually and that the other one would be coming to pick her up later. The girl just stared at her then ran off without saying a word - but that seems a pretty standard 4-year-old interaction, much to my own highly communicative four-year-old’s chagrin. “I just don’t think she was in the mood for a chat”, said E with a sigh.
Considering how anxious I was about starting school and having to come out to a whole new set of people, the experience has really been lovely. It feels like even in the five years I’ve been a parent, straight people have become increasingly au courant with queer parents. it’s almost like we’re nothing special. HOW RUDE.
From next week I’m going to start a new feature for paid subscribers where I interview different queer parents. If you would be open to me chatting to you for this feature please ‘like’ this post or leave a comment and I’ll be in touch by email. Or email us at lotteandstu@gmail.com
SOMETHING TO DO NEXT WEEK!
On Friday join me Lotte Jeffs, the fabulous author Jodie Lancet-Grant and solo trans Dad (and author) Freddy McConnel for an afternoon of books, arts and crafts in Greenwich. Here’s the info:
Fantastic Families
Friday October 28, at Queer Circle - nearest tube, North Greenwich
11.30-4.30.
This half term why not bring your family to hear a trio of LGBTQ+ children’s authors? Jodie Lancet-Grant (The Marvellous Doctors for Magical Creatures), Lotte Jeffs (My Magic Family) and Freddy McConnell (Little Seahorse and The Big Question) will read over the day, at 12.00, 1.30 and 3.00. Activities in our workshop space, provided by artist Joceline Howe, will enable you to make your own fantastical family outfits. Plus plenty of family-friendly activities on the Greenwich Peninsula to explore. Open to all families.
In partnership with Oxford University Press and Puffin books. Part of QUEERCIRCLE’s exploration of creative health and well-being